Why is your adult child coming to our sessions?
It can be a shock that your adult child wants to talk to someone outside the family. Often you have a close relationship with your child because of their disability and it can feel as if they have a secret or want to discuss a secret with us.
Most of the time however, clients with disabilities are isolated. This means they have less access to friends, acquaintances, the internet, books and all the ways we normally learn by sharing our experiences with others.
They are often concerned that their parents will not be there at some point in the future and they want to learn how to live successfully without their parents.
Talking to us provides them with a new way to talk about their concerns and move towards the future. It can be easier for them to speak to someone who is removed from their family or home situation first. Once they have talked through their ideas with us, they often then come back and discuss these things with you. They live with or near you after all and you are very much part of their lives.
What will your child discuss in our sessions?
This varies of course, but we generally find the following to be common concerns:
- how to make decisions, take risks and live with consequences;
- how to deal with paid carers and personal assistants;
- how to deal with difficult situations and conflict as an adult;
- how to gain confidence and be assertive;
- how to deal with their anxiety about parents no longer being there;
- how to work with their parents towards independence;
- how to find friends, intimate relationships to reduce their isolation and increase their happiness.
You are important too! How do we see family members?
We recognise that clients with disabilities have many people in their lives: parents, carers paid and unpaid and other healthcare professionals and that everyone’s opinion is important and worth considering. You have been in their life for a long time, so get involved. Disability affects everyone in the family: it becomes ‘YOUR’ disability. You can access our services for yourself as well as your child.
We understand that everyone wants what is best for the adult with a disability. We understand that most parents want their child to be as independent as they can be. You have a vital role in helping your child engage with our service.
We also understand that change is difficult for everyone and that our support can be helpful during a time of change: Our support is there for all family members and positive change is more likely for all of you if you are involved.
We don’t take sides, but make sure that a space is there for all to voice their thoughts and concerns. If you and your child decide it would be good for you to have some support, we will discuss how you feel about being included.
If you want to support your son/daughter/family member you can do so in many ways:
- Helping them get to our sessions.
- Sitting in on the first session if they would like that.
- Talk to your child to try and understand what changes they would like and how that makes you and them feel. Can you help or support them to make changes they would like towards being an adult and towards more independence? If so, how can you both work on this project?
- You can have 1-2-1 support to look at how you feel as a parent, what changes you would like for your family and how your child’s changes may impact on you.
- You can also attend sessions together to look at how to move forward together into the future.
- You can request a workshop session with your child and/or family members to look at all the points raised here.
We wish you all the best in this transitional time. You can always call us for support on
01543 899317 or 07733681883