Our negatives and ashamed

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  • #5736
    Julie86
    Participant

    Just recently it has been getting to me that social services only see my negatives. They home in and focus on my negatives. The time I sat and screamed. The time I shouted at a care worker. The time I had forgotten to write make the bed on a care plan. Social services seem to like to hold on to all your negatives like a life sentence.
    Do others experience this?

    I have been looking at the course material this week and I guess I feel ashamed by all my negatives. Does anyone else?

    #5737
    Mel
    Keymaster

    Hey Julie, this is indeed very very common unfortunately, focussing only on the negatives. You may find 9.1 on shame, and especially shame rage helpful. There are so many negative messages around disability and being different. Do discuss it in our next informal meet when you get the chance. Something that helps is preparing for this negativity by making sure you have some positivity afterwards. Also check out 7.6 on Microagressions and ‘Serviceland’: some people find it useful to reframe these assessments as visits to Serviceland – you visit there, you do what you need to do, but you don’t need to stay there and you don’t need to agree with the culture there either. Speak soon, Mel

    #5743
    Kim73
    Participant

    I definitely can say I experience this too – with social services but also with medical things for me as well. I think sometimes when you have assessments (depending on the purpose of them, because you don’t want to argue yourself out of support!) it can be helpful to also make a list of things you have achieved, so you can show them positives as well. Just because they will focus on negatives doesn’t mean that you have to. You kind of have to to an extent in order to get the support you need, but I think we can point out the good things we do as well.

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